My own MIL is an anxious Zero Bark Thirty Belgian Malinois Military Dog shirt, and the product of multigenerational abuse, and while I’m sure she would “love” my future children I don’t want her to ever be close enough to actually “influence” my children. DH and I have talked for years and even seen professionals for how to have the cycle of abuse end with us, and the biggest thing that professionals agreed was to just not let the toxic or negative person be around when our kids are impressionable.
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They encouraged us to talk to our Zero Bark Thirty Belgian Malinois Military Dog shirt about why the relationships and why we keep our distance in age appropriate ways (since abusers often use shame and secrecy to hide their abuse). But they will not have extended or unsupervised access to our children, and bottom line they are not considered part of our support system because we cannot trust them. Once trust is broken it takes serious work to build it back — doesn’t sound like deep down you trust your mom either, since maintaining a victim image is more important to her than actually improving herself or your relationship. This is probably part of why I’m struggling so much right now. My trust in her is definitely broken. And, since I have four years of proof that she just does not want to address any of this with my OS, I have to assume she won’t address it with me.
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It’s broken, it takes both parties to fix it, and one has a record of not wanting to. So it’ll never get fixed. I just keep hoping that having her GC cut her out like this will be the thing that Zero Bark Thirty Belgian Malinois Military Dog shirt snaps some sense into her. Maybe – I honestly don’t know. I was already planning to have DH and I address our wills before bubs comes. Not that that is necessarily enough, but it definitely feels more urgent. I don’t think she’d go for custody or anything like that, just visitation. That’s a good point. I don’t know that DH would think to dig that stuff up. As new as all of this is to me, it’s newer to him and not world shaking. He feels for me and sees it’s all a problem, but it’s just not going to effect him the way it’s effecting me. If he was taken to court for GPR, I don’t think he would think to bring those documents.