When I take sufficient refuge, then I have the I’m a july girl i’m a stronger than you believe braver than you know smarter than you think shirt also I will do this energy to take action and speak out about racism. I can effectively lead as a cofounder and CEO building a company focused on educating women about sexual and reproductive health. I can organize and be of service in my community, whether that’s raising money for Black Mamas Matters Alliance or amplifying the work of Campaign Zero, taking fresh flowers and meals to friends after they’ve spent the day protesting, signing up to digitally support organizers in battleground states in November, or researching what’s happening in Los Angeles politics and mobilizing friends to email our council president to redistribute city wealth and not give the LAPD just shy of 52% of the Los Angeles budget. Toggling between refuge and action is an imperfect and messy practice. Typically it’s much harder to rest in refuge, but I’m building more self-compassion around it and know that’s key to thriving long-term.
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As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and violence, my mind and my body learned at an early age to disconnect in order to feel safe. Over the I’m a july girl i’m a stronger than you believe braver than you know smarter than you think shirt also I will do this past few years, I’ve nurtured that fracture through Somatic Experiencing and bodywork like acupuncture and reiki. Most of the time, my body feels like a safe place. But with social distancing cutting off in-person appointments, staying anchored in my body has been harder. Self-guided regulation tools like shaking and Tension & Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) help me find my way back. Oftentimes, if I’m feeling activated or dissociative, I just shake my whole body and let out any sounds that want to come out—that’s usually an instant reset. Other small things that help: letting myself cry, masturbating (when I feel up to it), five minutes of kundalini mantra chanting when I wake up, pilates, and when I feel safe enough, brisk walks around my neighborhood to ward off cabin fever.