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Of course, a good celebrity crush is never actually about the 02 Snowcial Wear Mask Distancing Merry Christmas Shirt Apart from…,I will love this person. When you don’t intend ever to encounter someone, you can pin all sorts of ideas to them. IRL infatuations operate by a different logic, one that requires give and take acceptance and disappointment. A gorgeous proxy asks for nothing. Does the actual Josh O’Connor play piano and enjoy contemporary art installations? Who knows! In my head, he does, and that’s good enough for me. The world needs dudes it can collectively lust over—Fleabag’s hot priest, Atlanta’s beautiful weirdo Darius, and the enigma that was My So-Called Life’s Jordan Catalano exist for a reason. These characters (and the actors who portray them) are fantasy fodder of the highest order.

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Thankfully, I am not the 02 Snowcial Wear Mask Distancing Merry Christmas Shirt Apart from…,I will love this only person to develop a quarantine crush. A day doesn’t go by without hearing someone wax poetic about Timothée Chalamet’s razor-sharp cheekbones or Maluma’s tattooed chest. My photographer pal, Julia Chesky, has been extolling the virtues of Ben Schwartz for months now comparing her realization of his hotness to Cher’s a-ha moment with her ex-stepbrother, Josh in Clueless. Celebrity infatuations do have their drawbacks. “I suffered through Space Force,” Chesky said. “If that’s not a crush getting serious, I don’t know what is.” Vogue’s senior fashion writer, Liana Satenstein, is leaning into her longtime love affair with Pitbull and the charm of his overt sex appeal. “He seems like a real man’s man—just put me on a yacht in Miami and tell me I’m hot,” said Satenstein. Pop stars, actors, and comedians are nice, but Vogue Runway’s Brooke Bobb outclassed us all with her current crush: President Barack Obama. “I just want him to come back, save us all, and hug me.”